Everybody knows some things about detoxification. Some of us know more than others. But nobody knows more about it than Tina Long.
When I arrive to the spa, I receive a warm welcome. I am led to the dressing room, where I get to change in the most comfortable bathrobe imaginable. With the calm music playing around the downstairs area, I’m already heading to my Zen stage. I’m prepared for relaxation, but I’m also ready to get my body into detox mode.

The first place I visit is the far infrared sauna. I get a timer set to ring when time’s up, with strict directions not to spend more than fifteen minutes in there, since it is my first time. I get to hang out with two other women, both of them are my age, and we chat about detox, kids, husbands, and autoimmune diseases. By the time my time is up, I feel like I know both of them. Beyond relaxation, this type of sauna is improving my cellular health.

Next up is spending some time on the vibration plate. I hear they give you a great workout, without you going to the gym. The vibration increases muscle tone and flexibility. While on the plate, Nadia offers me the oxygen tubes, and I get extra oxygen in my body while I “work out”. What a great concept! With the extra oxygen, my mind is clearer and my memory will improve. I normally have great memory, but I’ll take the bonus effect that strengthens my heart and thus lowers the chance of heart attacks. Surprisingly, the plate’s movement is effecting my entire leg, and I’m starting to feel my muscles develop some healthy pain. While I’m on the plate, other thoughts sneak their way into my mind, and I’m getting more excited about the upcoming cold laser session and the massage. Mmmm, I could use some quiet time.

I’m moving across the room, to a comfy leather massage chair, and I’m putting my feet in the ion foot bath that’s waiting for me. The small electric current tingles my ankles, and shortly after, I start seeing white substance coming up on the surface of the water. The ionic balancer will draw toxins out of my organs, and I should see them leaving through my foot. Soon, the water gets darker, first, a light brown, than a stronger, orange color. By the time I’m done here, my foot soak turned dark brown. Joy, I’m feeling much cleaner already!

When Nadia arrives, I’m ready to go upstairs, and lay down to relax. She patiently explains the answers to my questions – I’m a first timer under the Yolo and Zerona lasers, and I NEED to know things. This is the part where the lasers melt my fat under my skin. To get the true weight loss effects, I would need six to twelve sessions, so this is just the start. I get my protective eye wear on, and we start. Nadia aims the lasers to my most padded areas, mostly around my waist and stomach.

As I’m not supposed to feel anything – cold lasers are gentle, they work quietly -, and I’m left alone for half an hour. I close my eyes, enjoy the relaxing music, and almost fall asleep. Oh, how I wish, that I can stay here, in this small room, under the covers for the entire afternoon! I’m still in alpha when Nadia comes back, and moves the Yolo around. The Yolo laser works around the smaller area it’s placed on, while Zerona moves above your body. These two melt fat within four centimeters in your body. This was the only part of the detox package that I was concerned about, but I shouldn’t have. The lasers were completely unnoticeable, and it was the most peaceful time of my day, (week even).
Somewhere between the lasers and the massage, Tina checks in with me. She asks how things are going, and how I’m feeling. It feels like my hostesses really care about me, and I’m being well taken care of.

After the lasers, I’m heading over to my lymphatic massage. Now, a massage, I’m very familiar with. I’ve had massages in Denver, san Diego, Scottsdale, in Costa Rica, in Mexico, and in Europe. I had Chinese massage, Thai massage, aromatherapy massage, hot stone massage (one of my favorites), luxury massages at the Bellagio and the Rio. I’m a massage veteran, however, I have never had a lymphatic massage. The whole idea is based on activating your lymph nodes, to further move the detox process along. It’s also known as an Immune Boost massage, because by stimulating your lymph nodes, they boost your immune system as well. The massage therapist has really nice, strong fingers, and she works those neck muscles, especially on the side. It feels SO DIVINE. By now, my cells must know that this is a special day just for them. To love them, activate them, rejuvenate them, and treat them royally.

With designing this sequence, Tina is onto something. Every step of this process gears towards waking up your body on a cellular level, and helping it move toxins out of it. Along with the right nutrition, and regular exercise, this should be built into all of our lives.

My Rejuvenate Package, that included a laser session also, is complete with a healthy lunch. I’m starving, so the salad, tea, and brownies with grapes plate arrives at the perfect time. I could go back to the far infrared sauna one more time, but I feel relaxed and rejuvenated, and ready to head back to my slightly less peaceful world. As I hug Tina, I feel I’m leaving cleaner, in a purer physical form, with extra protection against the myriad elements that are out there to get me sick.
Thank you Tina, and Parker Med Spa for treating me so grandly. I’m grateful for this day.

Monika Anderson